In 30 minutes it will be December 1. I should be in bed. I should be working on this grant instead of blogging and sweater shopping at J.Crew. I should be finishing my NaNoWriMo novel.
But instead, I'm writing a blog post about how I didn't writer 50,000 words this month. I only wrote about 10,000. Still more than I wrote last month, but not a NaNoWriMo winner.
What happened?
Well, I ran a marathon, and while that took me off course for four days, I did write a few after that, but somehow, never made it back. There was no momentum. I felt disorganized, it felt chaotic, and I never knew where things were going. I wasn't sure where I wanted my story to go. It was a stressful work month, and there were moments when coming home I couldn't sit in front of a computer anymore.
And, as I'm working on this grant, which is incredibly hard, and I want to stop because it's so hard and new and challenging... it's ok that I didn't reach this goal. In talking to another library patron, we decided we are giving ourselves Dec 31 deadlines to finish our novels. So, I put it out there. Hold me to it this time. And it's a gentle reminder that things that matter take time, as well as effort, dedication and hours locked in a room with the internet turned off.
A big congrats to all the winners! Especially to the woman who came to my library to write a few times: she had open heart surgery AND finished. Gold Stars all around!
Now excuse me, I'm going to bed.
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