Wednesday, November 30, 2011

on forgiveness.

A dear friend me an email the other day, with this quote, saying she was actively working on forgiveness in her life. I was touched by her candidness on the steps she was taking to cleanse anger out of her life, and felt proud of her. Put it out there in the world, I always believe in.

It's a scary place- an online, public forum to share one's life. When people have the ability to read it from behind screens, and family a chance to come across it. My mom found my wedding blog where I vented about how she was stressing me out, before I talked to her. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have, because the outcome would have been the same. And it was, she continued to stress me out up, culminating in a little chat on the wedding day. I tried so hard to avoid it, but you can't change someone. But you can change how you react, or interact.

Thanksgiving was a lovely holiday, but was still marked by hurt feelings and feeling unappreciated. It was also a moment to reflect on how it didn't just impact me, but my husband - my family. And so, forgiveness. It's a hard thing to grasp at the moment, when there is still so much anger and hurt, but it's a reminder- of gentleness and kindness.

The experience of forgiveness s profound and refreshing. When we do the gritty, methodical work that goes into healing and resolving an hold hurt, we dissolve the stagnant weight of resentment inside us. It mends our tattered personal boundaries, improves our health and relationships, and empowers us to move forward with hope and creativity. Forgiveness is a private process that we do for our own sakes. As we release the past, we also release ourselves into the richness of the present and the possibilities of the future.

Adapted from Unconditional Forgiveness by Mary Hayes Grieco

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